Strength Means Everything is the first episode of The Struggle For Luxury.
[a monitor is sitting on the ground. Without any source of power, it boots up. Alien Monitor is revealed to be the monitor]
Alien Monitor: Ahhh, what a good nap.
Gift: Hey, Alien Monitor!
Alien Monitor: Hello, Gift. How are you today?
Gift: I feel good. Also, y’know how you can collect facts from the internet?
Alien Monitor: Yes, I can do that.
Gift: Well, can you tell me a joke?
Alien Monitor: Well, it’s not necessarily a fact, but it is data! I’ll try. [beeping sounds] What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
Gift: Uh, I dunno.
Alien Monitor: I dunno either, but the flag is a big plus.
Waffle: That was so unfunny.
Gift: Hey! It totally was funny.
Waffle: To you, it was.
Star Wand: Oh hey guys. What’s the ruckus? Mhm.
Waffle: Gift has a bad sense of humour.
Star Wand: I think Gift’s sense of humour is great. I really like her actually.
Gift: Uhm, okay...
Star Wand: In fact, I think we should go out-
Alien Monitor: This love calculator says that you have a 19% chance of getting married. That’s quite slim.
Gift: I agree with Alien Monitor. I think that’s too soon anyway.
Star Wand: Oh. [walks off in a sulk]
Capey: Hey, Star Wand! You feeling alright?
Star Wand: Not really. Gift rejected me.
Capey: Don’t worry. She shouldn’t have been so harsh on you. The problems not yours, it’s hers.
Star Wand: Hm, whatever...
Spikey Square: I could kill em for ya!
Star Wand: Don’t do that, you maniac!
Spikey Square: Maniac? Take that back, or your heart will stop beating.
Star Wand: Fine, you’re not a maniac. You’re a really cool guy.
Spikey Square: Half-hearted, but thanks.
Comic Pow: Hey, Star Wand! Have you seen Capey?
Star Wand: I saw that she was going to go hang out with Chimney and Chewing Gum.
Comic Pow: Okay, I’ll go find her. I wanted to stop some crime with her.
Star Wand: Good for you then.
[Comic Pow walks over to Capey, Chewing Gum and Chimney]
Chimney: Hey hey, Comic Pow!
Capey: Comic Pow, I was looking for you just now!
Comic Pow: I was just looking for you, actually!
Chewing Gum: Aren’t you going to go solve crime?
Capey: Only if something bad happens. The world seems peaceful right now.
[Alien Monitor is seen malfunctioning in the distance]
Chewing Gum: Look! Alien Monitor’s breaking down.
Chimney: That looks bad.
Chewing Gum: I’ll go try to fix him.
3DS Game Cartridge: Thank god you are, ‘cause I’m not.
Chimney: Uhh, why are you here?
3DS Game Cartridge: Ug, and why are you here?
Chimney: Uhm, well, actually you have a good point.
Comic Pow: Anyways, I’m going too see if Alien Monitor is okay.
Capey: I will too.
[scene cuts to objects crowding around Alien Monitor]
Gift: I don’t know how this happened! He was just receiving some data!
Minutey (Clock Hands): What did you say? I don’t care for technical rubbish. It’s boring if you ask me!
Houry (Clock Hands): I don’t think it’s boring.
Minutey: Oh yeah?
Houry: It’s very interesting, actually!
Capey: Okay, you can stop arguing. Chewing Gum, is he fixed?
Chewing Gum: Nope. He’s in a sticky situation.
Licorice: Oh my god! What’s that flashing image?
Chewing Gum: Look away.
Licorice: Okay then, I guess I should.
[suddenly, an object rises out of Alien Monitor’s mouth. That object is revealed to be Ring-Con]
Ring-Con: Hello there! [looks around] Yikes, I have a crowd!
Alien Monitor: Ahh, what the heck just happened? My brain felt like it was turned to mush.
Ring-Con: That sounds awful. I know something that isn’t though!
[Christmas Bauble suddenly arrives]
Christmas Bauble: Aha. So this is where you all were. Wait, who are you?
[Strawberry Juice arrives too]
Strawberry Juice: Hi there, guys! The weather today is great!
Waffle: Here comes the Mary-Sue.
Strawberry Juice: Hey! Also, who’s this dude?
Ring-Con: Who am I? I’m Ring-Con. I noticed that some of you asked that.
Christmas Bauble: Right. How did you get here?
Ring-Con: I don’t know.
Licorice: He suddenly came out from within the depths of Alien Monitor or something crazy.
Alien Monitor: You what!?
Christmas Bauble: That just sounds ludicrous.
Ring-Con: Anyways, enough about how I got here. I wanted to tell you why I’m here! I’m hosting a reality show, where the winner can win a luxury hotel. Trust me, it won’t be easy.
Christmas Bauble: Wow! That’s crazy!
Spikey Square: Ha, I can win this!
Waffle: So can I.
Spikey Square: No! Me!
Waffle: You, winning a luxury hotel? What a joke.
Ring-Con: To start this show, I want you guys to follow me over to this little stage. I don’t know how this got here, though.
[the objects walk over to the stage, noticing there is some weights]
3DS Game Cartidge: Ugh, weights. This is gonna be, like so boring.
Ring-Con: Lift these weights for as long as you can. The 2 people who can lift them the longest get a special reward. Go!
Gift: Alright! I can do this! [picks up the weight]
Capey: Fighting crime has made me strong! [picks up the weight]
Comic Pow: Not so much for me. I’m armless, remember? [picks up the weight, then immediately drops it]
Ring-Con: Comic Pow is out! Not excluded from the show, just out of this small competition.
Comic Pow: Shoot.
Strawberry Juice: Unlucky, Comic Pow! I still have mine though.
Christmas Bauble: [lifts the weight] This doesn’t look like a challenge I’ll do well in. [drops it]
Chimney: Unlucky, Bauble dude.
Christmas Bauble: My name’s Christmas Bauble!
Ring-Con: Whatever, you’re out either way.
Christmas Bauble: Come on!
Chewing Gum: Shoot. Dropped the weight.
Licorice: Well, I’ve still got mine!
3DS Game Cartridge: I’m not lifting that.
Ring-Con: Chewing Gum and 3DS Game Cartridge are also out!
Capey: Aw man, this thing is getting heavy to lift...
Comic Pow: It is quite heavy.
Capey: [accidentally drops it] Noooooooo!
Ring-Con: Well, looks like Capey is out too.
Spikey Square: Haha! You losers dropping it. I still have it though.
Comic Pow: Don’t brag!
Spikey Square: I can do what I like, loser!
Comic Pow: Not exactly...
Spikey Square: Grrr! [throws the weight at Comic Pow]
Ring-Con: And Spikey Square is out! Too bad for him.
Comic Pow: Are you not concerned for me at all!?
Ring-Con: What did you say?
Strawberry Juice: Ring-Con, Spikey Square threw his weight at Comic Pow, so now he’s injured.
Ring-Con: Some plasters will be able to fix that. [he runs over and puts a plaster on Comic Pow’s bruise]
Strawberry Juice: Good job.
Ring-Con: Hang on a second! We have a spare weight! That means we need an extra contestant!
AirPod: Extra Contestant? I can be one.
Ring-Con: Where did you come from?
AirPod: That’s a secret. Anyways, can I join?
Ring-Con: Yes. Take this weight.
AirPod: Nice. I’ll lift it a bit. [lifts it for a while] Okay I’m tired now. [drops it]
Ring-Con: Welp, you’re out then.
Gift: Oh god, lifting this weight is starting to get super hard! [drops it] God- DAMNNIT!
AirPod: Bruh, you suck.
Gift: Hey! Why’d you say that, stupid!?
Ring-Con: Gift, you’re out.
Minutey: Unlike us. We can actually lift.
Houry: You’re doing most of the work, y’know!
Minutey: Be happy that you may become a team captain because of my work.
Houry: I- actually don’t know why I’m complaining.
Minutey: Alright, I can’t do this anymore. [drops it]
Houry: Come on, man!
Ring-Con: And Clock Hands are out! Wait, I think the only people left are Chimney, Alien Monitor and Licorice.
Licorice: Still got it!
Chimney: I’m starting to get tired...
Alien Monitor: I can’t hold this any longer! [drops the weight. It lands on his foot] sYnTaX ERrOr!
Ring-Con: Congrats, Licorice and Chimney! You won.
Star Wand: Hey! I’ve been lifting this entire time.
Minecart: So have I!
Star Wand: You’re not even in this show!
Minecart: Neither are you!
Capey: Minecart, consider yourself in.
Ring-Con: I’m the host though. Anyways, Chimney and Licorice will be our team captains!
Licorice: Do we get to pick people on our teams?
Ring-Con: Yes, you do.
Chimney: Time to make an overpowered team!
Ring-Con: Licorice, pick first.
Licorice: I’ll pick Minecart.
Minecart: Thanks for picking me!
AirPod: I didn’t even think you were in this show anyway!
Capey: Chimney, please pick me!
Chimney: Alright, I’ll pick you.
Licorice: I think Chewing Gum will be a useful member. Come on down, buddy!
Chewing Gum: Alright. [he hops along] I’ll do well for this team.
Chimney: I’m gonna pick Waffle.
Ring-Con: This is taking forever, y’know!
Licorice: Fine! We’ll pick up the pace if that satisfies you.
Ring—Con: Good. You can pick now.
Licorice: I’ll pick Strawberry Juice.
Chimney: And I’ll pick Alien Monitor!
Licorice: Hm, Clock Hands.
Chimney: I’ll pick Star Wand.
Licorice: Huh, I’m stumped now.
Spikey Square: Why don’t you pick me?
Licorice: Yeah, but you’re evil.
Spikey Square: If you don’t pick me, I’ll kill you!
Licorice: Oh Jeez! Fine, come along.
Spikey Square: Yeah! Let’s win this.
Chimney: I’ll have Christmas Bauble on my team.
Licorice: Yet again, I’m stumped. I guess that 3DS Game Cartridge isn’t awful.
3DS Game Cartridge: I’m the best out of all you lazy idiots.
Gift: Uhm, you seem like you’re one of the more lazy ones.
3DS Game Cartridge: I’d insult you right now but I can’t be bothered.
Chimney: I want Comic Pow on my team.
Ring-Con: Good choice!
Comic Pow: I’m a good choice?
3DS Game Cartridge: Why’d you call him a good choice but no-one else?
Minecart: Where have you even been this whole time?
Ring-Con: It’s a secret.
Licorice: Nevermind that. I’ll choose AirPod.
Chimney: I’ll pick Gift.
Gift: Finally! I got picked.
Capey: Hi, Gift!
Ring-Con: We now have our teams for the season.
Comic Pow: Yay!
Minecart: So what do we do now?
Ring-Con: We start the first challenge, of course!
Minecart: Please tell me it’s a race.
Christmas Bauble: You only want it to be a race so you can use your wheels to get past the crowd.
Ring-Con: It’s a contest to see which team can stack their contestants in a tower first!
Gift: That’s good, because I’m a master of balance!
Chimney: Prove it.
Gift: Well, you will go at the top I think. I’ll be at the bottom with Christmas Bauble and Comic Pow, whereas Star Wand and Waffle would be around the middle. Capey would be held up by you at the top, Chimney!
Chimney: Oh really?
Gift: Everyone! Get in position!
[everyone gets in position except Waffle]
Waffle: I’m not doing this.
Waffle: You put me next to Star Wand. He smells.
Star Wand: I do not!
Christmas Bauble: Oh god, an argument.
Chewing Gum: Hey! Did you guys not finish?
Chimney: Oh my god.
[Licorice’s Team finish]
Ring-Con: And Licorice’s Team have finished the challlenge!
Licorice: We’re great!
Ring-Con: So that means that Chimney, your team is up for elimination.
Christmas Bauble: I hope I’m not eliminated!
Gift: I hope I’m not.
Capey: Ring-Con, how are you gonna decide who’s eliminated anyway?
Ring-Con: I don’t. You do!
Ring-Con: Well, you guys can go to this voting booth I installed, allowing you to vote for who you should think should be eliminated on your team!
Star Wand: Sounds magical.
Capey: It does! Can we do that now?
Ring-Con: Yes, go to the voting booth. It’s near where we did the challenge when we decided the team captains.
[they walk over]
Chimney: I don’t know who to vote. I chose this team, after all.
Waffle: Vote me and I’ll kick you in the face.
Chimney: Okay! I won’t.
Ring-Con: Okay! We have the votes.
Chimney: I wanna hear them, please.
Ring-Con: Was getting to that. Anyway, Christmas Bauble got one vote. So you’re safe.
Christmas Bauble: Phew. Yay!
Ring-Con: Also, if you’re safe, you get notebooks.
Christmas Bauble: Sweet.
Ring-Con: Star Wand recurved one vote, but you’re still safe.
Christmas Bauble: Hey, Star Wand! You’re safe too!
Star Wand: Yay!
Ring-Con: And all 6 other votes went to Waffle.
Waffle: What? I’m eliminated?
Ring-Con: Yes. Everyone except Chimney voted for you.
Waffle: Oh my god. WHY!?
Ring-Con: Democracy hurts. Anyways, I must send you to the Loser’s Pit.
Waffle: What’s that?
Ring-Con: A large hole where the eliminated contestants go. Follow me.
[the scene cuts to Waffle and Ring-Con walking into the sunset]