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Strength Means Everything is the first episode of The Struggle For Luxury.

Transcript

[a monitor is sitting on the ground. Without any source of power, it boots up. Alien Monitor is revealed to be the monitor]

Alien Monitor: Ahhh, what a good nap.

Gift: Hey, Alien Monitor!

Alien Monitor: Hello, Gift. How are you today?

Gift: I feel good. Also, y’know how you can collect facts from the internet?

Alien Monitor: Yes, I can do that.

Gift: Well, can you tell me a joke?

Alien Monitor: Well, it’s not necessarily a fact, but it is data! I’ll try. [beeping sounds] What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

Gift: Uh, I dunno.

Alien Monitor: I dunno either, but the flag is a big plus.

Gift: Hahahaha!

Waffle: That was so unfunny.

Gift: Hey! It totally was funny.

Waffle: To you, it was.

Star Wand: Oh hey guys. What’s the ruckus? Mhm.

Waffle: Gift has a bad sense of humour.

Star Wand: I think Gift’s sense of humour is great. I really like her actually.

Gift: Uhm, okay...

Star Wand: In fact, I think we should go out-

Alien Monitor: This love calculator says that you have a 19% chance of getting married. That’s quite slim.

Gift: I agree with Alien Monitor. I think that’s too soon anyway.

Star Wand: Oh. [walks off in a sulk]

Capey: Hey, Star Wand! You feeling alright?

Star Wand: Not really. Gift rejected me.

Capey: Don’t worry. She shouldn’t have been so harsh on you. The problems not yours, it’s hers.

Star Wand: Hm, whatever...

Spikey Square: I could kill em for ya!

Star Wand: Don’t do that, you maniac!

Spikey Square: Maniac? Take that back, or your heart will stop beating.

Star Wand: Fine, you’re not a maniac. You’re a really cool guy.

Spikey Square: Half-hearted, but thanks.

Comic Pow: Hey, Star Wand! Have you seen Capey?

Star Wand: I saw that she was going to go hang out with Chimney and Chewing Gum.

Comic Pow: Okay, I’ll go find her. I wanted to stop some crime with her.

Star Wand: Good for you then.

[Comic Pow walks over to Capey, Chewing Gum and Chimney]

Chimney: Hey hey, Comic Pow!

Capey: Comic Pow, I was looking for you just now!

Comic Pow: I was just looking for you, actually!

Chewing Gum: Aren’t you going to go solve crime?

Capey: Only if something bad happens. The world seems peaceful right now.

[Alien Monitor is seen malfunctioning in the distance]

Chewing Gum: Look! Alien Monitor’s breaking down.

Chimney: That looks bad.

Chewing Gum: I’ll go try to fix him.

3DS Game Cartridge: Thank god you are, ‘cause I’m not.

Chimney: Uhh, why are you here?

3DS Game Cartridge: Ug, and why are you here?

Chimney: Uhm, well, actually you have a good point.

Comic Pow: Anyways, I’m going too see if Alien Monitor is okay.

Capey: I will too.

[scene cuts to objects crowding around Alien Monitor]

Gift: I don’t know how this happened! He was just receiving some data!

Minutey (Clock Hands): What did you say? I don’t care for technical rubbish. It’s boring if you ask me!

Houry (Clock Hands): I don’t think it’s boring.

Minutey: Oh yeah?

Houry: It’s very interesting, actually!

Capey: Okay, you can stop arguing. Chewing Gum, is he fixed?

Chewing Gum: Nope. He’s in a sticky situation.

Licorice: Oh my god! What’s that flashing image?

Chewing Gum: Look away.

Licorice: Okay then, I guess I should.

[suddenly, an object rises out of Alien Monitor’s mouth. That object is revealed to be Ring-Con]

Ring-Con: Hello there! [looks around] Yikes, I have a crowd!

Alien Monitor: Ahh, what the heck just happened? My brain felt like it was turned to mush.

Ring-Con: That sounds awful. I know something that isn’t though!

[Christmas Bauble suddenly arrives]

Christmas Bauble: Aha. So this is where you all were. Wait, who are you?

[Strawberry Juice arrives too]

Strawberry Juice: Hi there, guys! The weather today is great!

Waffle: Here comes the Mary-Sue.

Strawberry Juice: Hey! Also, who’s this dude?

Ring-Con: Who am I? I’m Ring-Con. I noticed that some of you asked that.

Christmas Bauble: Right. How did you get here?

Ring-Con: I don’t know.

Licorice: He suddenly came out from within the depths of Alien Monitor or something crazy.

Alien Monitor: You what!?

Christmas Bauble: That just sounds ludicrous.

Ring-Con: Anyways, enough about how I got here. I wanted to tell you why I’m here! I’m hosting a reality show, where the winner can win a luxury hotel. Trust me, it won’t be easy.

Christmas Bauble: Wow! That’s crazy!

Spikey Square: Ha, I can win this!

Waffle: So can I.

Spikey Square: No! Me!

Waffle: You, winning a luxury hotel? What a joke.

Ring-Con: To start this show, I want you guys to follow me over to this little stage. I don’t know how this got here, though.

[the objects walk over to the stage, noticing there is some weights]

3DS Game Cartidge: Ugh, weights. This is gonna be, like so boring.

Ring-Con: Lift these weights for as long as you can. The 2 people who can lift them the longest get a special reward. Go!

Gift: Alright! I can do this! [picks up the weight]

Capey: Fighting crime has made me strong! [picks up the weight]

Comic Pow: Not so much for me. I’m armless, remember? [picks up the weight, then immediately drops it]

Ring-Con: Comic Pow is out! Not excluded from the show, just out of this small competition.

Comic Pow: Shoot.

Strawberry Juice: Unlucky, Comic Pow! I still have mine though.

Christmas Bauble: [lifts the weight] This doesn’t look like a challenge I’ll do well in. [drops it]

Chimney: Unlucky, Bauble dude.

Christmas Bauble: My name’s Christmas Bauble!

Ring-Con: Whatever, you’re out either way.

Christmas Bauble: Come on!

Chewing Gum: Shoot. Dropped the weight.

Licorice: Well, I’ve still got mine!

3DS Game Cartridge: I’m not lifting that.

Ring-Con: Chewing Gum and 3DS Game Cartridge are also out!

Capey: Aw man, this thing is getting heavy to lift...

Comic Pow: It is quite heavy.

Capey: [accidentally drops it] Noooooooo!

Ring-Con: Well, looks like Capey is out too.

Spikey Square: Haha! You losers dropping it. I still have it though.

Comic Pow: Don’t brag!

Spikey Square: I can do what I like, loser!

Comic Pow: Not exactly...

Spikey Square: Grrr! [throws the weight at Comic Pow]

Ring-Con: And Spikey Square is out! Too bad for him.

Comic Pow: Are you not concerned for me at all!?

Ring-Con: What did you say?

Strawberry Juice: Ring-Con, Spikey Square threw his weight at Comic Pow, so now he’s injured.

Ring-Con: Some plasters will be able to fix that. [he runs over and puts a plaster on Comic Pow’s bruise]

Strawberry Juice: Good job.

Ring-Con: Hang on a second! We have a spare weight! That means we need an extra contestant!

AirPod: Extra Contestant? I can be one.

Ring-Con: Where did you come from?

AirPod: That’s a secret. Anyways, can I join?

Ring-Con: Yes. Take this weight.

AirPod: Nice. I’ll lift it a bit. [lifts it for a while] Okay I’m tired now. [drops it]

Ring-Con: Welp, you’re out then.

AirPod: What!?

Ring-Con: Sorry!

Gift: Oh god, lifting this weight is starting to get super hard! [drops it] God- DAMNNIT!

AirPod: Bruh, you suck.

Gift: Hey! Why’d you say that, stupid!?

Ring-Con: Gift, you’re out.

Minutey: Unlike us. We can actually lift.

Houry: You’re doing most of the work, y’know!

Minutey: Be happy that you may become a team captain because of my work.

Houry: I- actually don’t know why I’m complaining.

Minutey: Alright, I can’t do this anymore. [drops it]

Houry: Come on, man!

Ring-Con: And Clock Hands are out! Wait, I think the only people left are Chimney, Alien Monitor and Licorice.

Licorice: Still got it!

Chimney: I’m starting to get tired...

Alien Monitor: I can’t hold this any longer! [drops the weight. It lands on his foot] sYnTaX ERrOr!

Ring-Con: Congrats, Licorice and Chimney! You won.

Star Wand: Hey! I’ve been lifting this entire time.

Minecart: So have I!

Star Wand: You’re not even in this show!

Minecart: Neither are you!

Capey: Minecart, consider yourself in.

Ring-Con: I’m the host though. Anyways, Chimney and Licorice will be our team captains!

Chimney: Teams?

Licorice: Do we get to pick people on our teams?

Ring-Con: Yes, you do.

Chimney: Time to make an overpowered team!

Ring-Con: Licorice, pick first.

Licorice: I’ll pick Minecart.

Minecart: Thanks for picking me!

AirPod: I didn’t even think you were in this show anyway!

Capey: Chimney, please pick me!

Chimney: Alright, I’ll pick you.

Licorice: I think Chewing Gum will be a useful member. Come on down, buddy!

Chewing Gum: Alright. [he hops along] I’ll do well for this team.

Chimney: I’m gonna pick Waffle.

Waffle: Thanks!

Ring-Con: This is taking forever, y’know!

Licorice: Fine! We’ll pick up the pace if that satisfies you.

Ring—Con: Good. You can pick now.

Licorice: I’ll pick Strawberry Juice.

Chimney: And I’ll pick Alien Monitor!

Licorice: Hm, Clock Hands.

Chimney: I’ll pick Star Wand.

Licorice: Huh, I’m stumped now.

Spikey Square: Why don’t you pick me?

Licorice: Yeah, but you’re evil.

Spikey Square: If you don’t pick me, I’ll kill you!

Licorice: Oh Jeez! Fine, come along.

Spikey Square: Yeah! Let’s win this.

Chimney: I’ll have Christmas Bauble on my team.

Licorice: Yet again, I’m stumped. I guess that 3DS Game Cartridge isn’t awful.

3DS Game Cartridge: I’m the best out of all you lazy idiots.

Gift: Uhm, you seem like you’re one of the more lazy ones.

3DS Game Cartridge: I’d insult you right now but I can’t be bothered.

Chimney: I want Comic Pow on my team.

Ring-Con: Good choice!

Comic Pow: I’m a good choice?

3DS Game Cartridge: Why’d you call him a good choice but no-one else?

Minecart: Where have you even been this whole time?

Ring-Con: It’s a secret.

Licorice: Nevermind that. I’ll choose AirPod.

Chimney: I’ll pick Gift.

Gift: Finally! I got picked.

Capey: Hi, Gift!

Gift: Hey.

Ring-Con: We now have our teams for the season.

Comic Pow: Yay!

Minecart: So what do we do now?

Ring-Con: We start the first challenge, of course!

Minecart: Please tell me it’s a race.

Christmas Bauble: You only want it to be a race so you can use your wheels to get past the crowd.

Ring-Con: It’s a contest to see which team can stack their contestants in a tower first!

Gift: That’s good, because I’m a master of balance!

Chimney: Prove it.

Gift: Well, you will go at the top I think. I’ll be at the bottom with Christmas Bauble and Comic Pow, whereas Star Wand and Waffle would be around the middle. Capey would be held up by you at the top, Chimney!

Chimney: Oh really?

Gift: Everyone! Get in position!

[everyone gets in position except Waffle]

Waffle: I’m not doing this.

Gift: Why?

Waffle: You put me next to Star Wand. He smells.

Star Wand: I do not!

Christmas Bauble: Oh god, an argument.

Chewing Gum: Hey! Did you guys not finish?

Chimney: Oh my god.

[Licorice’s Team finish]

Ring-Con: And Licorice’s Team have finished the challlenge!

Chimney: What!?

Licorice: We’re great!

Ring-Con: So that means that Chimney, your team is up for elimination.

Christmas Bauble: I hope I’m not eliminated!

Gift: I hope I’m not.

Capey: Ring-Con, how are you gonna decide who’s eliminated anyway?

Ring-Con: I don’t. You do!

Capey: Explain.

Ring-Con: Well, you guys can go to this voting booth I installed, allowing you to vote for who you should think should be eliminated on your team!

Star Wand: Sounds magical.

Capey: It does! Can we do that now?

Gift: Yeah!

Ring-Con: Yes, go to the voting booth. It’s near where we did the challenge when we decided the team captains.

[they walk over]

Chimney: I don’t know who to vote. I chose this team, after all.

Waffle: Vote me and I’ll kick you in the face.

Chimney: Okay! I won’t.

[everyone votes]

Ring-Con: Okay! We have the votes.

Chimney: I wanna hear them, please.

Ring-Con: Was getting to that. Anyway, Christmas Bauble got one vote. So you’re safe.

Christmas Bauble: Phew. Yay!

Ring-Con: Also, if you’re safe, you get notebooks.

Christmas Bauble: Sweet.

Ring-Con: Star Wand recurved one vote, but you’re still safe.

Christmas Bauble: Hey, Star Wand! You’re safe too!

Star Wand: Yay!

Ring-Con: And all 6 other votes went to Waffle.

Waffle: What? I’m eliminated?

Ring-Con: Yes. Everyone except Chimney voted for you.

Waffle: Oh my god. WHY!?

Ring-Con: Democracy hurts. Anyways, I must send you to the Loser’s Pit.

Waffle: What’s that?

Ring-Con: A large hole where the eliminated contestants go. Follow me.

[the scene cuts to Waffle and Ring-Con walking into the sunset]

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