Object Pandemonium's first episode sets the stage for the series, introduces the contestants as well as Ribbon and MePod, and creates the teams. This episode is the one of the only episodes to not include elimination, since the challenge picks the team captains and focuses on developing the contestants.
*Scene opens to Comet and Snowflake at the shore, staring out to sea*
Comet: Ah! What a lovely day! Nobody's being mean to each other, I just love it!
Snowflake: Uh, Comet? Look over there! *Points to a cliff, where Pencily and Scissors are standing*
Pencily: Scissors, you have cut too many people. It's time that you finally face the consequences!
Scissors: No, please! I swear, I cut nobody! I swear! I swear!
Pencily: *Takes a deep breath* One does not simply beg on their knees for forgiveness and get it. *Kicks Scissors off the cliff*
Comet: Oh my gosh! How brutal!
Snowflake: That's what I would've said... if I was nicer and the victim wasn't Scissors.
Comet: *Elbows Snowflake* Hey! At least someone here is trying to spread positive energy...
Comet: Yeah! Sunny! She's always vibrant and happy! I love it! I wonder what she's up to...
*Scene transitions inland, where Sunny is happily bouncing around and pestering Cloudy*
Sunny: Cloudy! Isn't today wonderful? Everything is going right! Wanna hang out?
Cloudy: Ugh! No! Sunny, leave me alone for once in my life!
Sunny: On a beautiful day like this? Oh, Cloudy! You crack me up! *Puts arm around Cloudy* Come on! Let's have some fun!
Cloudy: Not if I was offered a million dollars! *Runs away from Sunny*
Sunny: You wanna play tag? Well, I guess I'm it! I'm coming for you! *Chases Cloudy*
Telephone: *Drops a wrench* Huh? What is it... oh. Her again?
Cloudy: Yes! She's chasing me! She thinks we're playing tag!
Telephone: I see. I got you! Keyboard! Activate the Cloudy decoy!
Keyboard: Roger! *Presses button*
Sunny: *Watches Cloudy decoy* Hey Cloudy! Guess what? Tag! You're it! *Runs away from Cloudy decoy*
Keyboard: Woot woot! Ah yeah! Woo! *High fives Telephone*
Cloudy: Thanks guys. I knew I could count on you.
Telephone: Anytime. Now, wanna help me make these waterproof suits for electronic objects?
Cloudy: One, that sounds awesome, and two, I have nothing else to do, so sure!
Telephone: Great! Come on in!
Keyboard: Wait for me!￼
*Scene transitions out to sea, where the alliance, made of Umbrella, Watch, and Envelope are floating*
Watch: So relaxing and peaceful! Isn't it?
Umbrella: Yeah. It would be better if I didn't have to be a boat. But, of course, I'm the only one who can tolerate water, so, at least you're justified.
Watch: Yeah. Well, Fountain Pen seems bent on being empress of the world, so... we don't have the wood to make a raft.
Envelope: You got mail! Open it open it open it open it open it!
Watch: Gladly! *Opens Envelope and reads the note*
Umbrella: What does it say?
Watch: "I wish Fountain Pen wasn't such a big meanie head!" You know, the dude's smart!
Umbrella: Heck yeah he is! Don't you love him?
Watch: I do, but not in that way.
Envelope: I love you too, Watch!
*Scene transitions into the island's town hall, where Fountain Pen and Hourglass are filing paperwork*
Hourglass: Hey, uh, Fountain Pen? What's that screaming noise outside?
Fountain Pen: Don't mind it. It's probably Scissors getting chased with a torch.
Hourglass: Wait, a torch could burn down the place, which means... OH MY GOSH WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! NO!
Fountain Pen: Snap out of it Hourglass. Wanna be flipped?
Fountain Pen: Then I suggest you shut up and get to work.
Hourglass: *Sighs* Yes, ma'am.
Fountain Pen: Good.
Toy Plane: *Kicks open door* HELP! Scissors got kicked off of a cliff! You gotta recover him! As much as I hate him, you gotta recover him! Please! Please!
Fountain Pen: *Laughs* Anyone? Recover Scissors? He's a bane to the entire universe￼! Why should I? Money?
Toy Plane: I'm doing this out of the good in my heart. Please, recover him.
Fountain Pen: How about no. Hourglass!
Hourglass: *Drops papers* Yes ma'am!
Fountain Pen: Take care of these suckers!
Hourglass: Yes ma'am! *Kicks Toy Plane out of town hall*
Toy Plane: Ouch. Help... me...
Ribbon: *Places a bandage on Toy Plane and recovers Scissors* Are you OK?
Toy Plane: Huh? Who are you? Are you that guy's intern? *Points to an MP3 player*
Ribbon: No. We came here looking for contestants for an object show. I'm the hostess, Ribbon. That's MePod, he's my assistant.
MePod: *Runs to Ribbon* Did you find anyone?
Ribbon: Well, we have two! Not enough for a big battle, sadly.
MePod: Remember? You gave me teleportation code. Can I bring the rest over here?
Ribbon: You can try.
MePod: *Teleports remaining contestants over*
￼Ribbon: Wow! Fourteen of them? Still relatively small, but that's what Inanimate Insanity began with, so it's good enough!
Fountain Pen: Wait up! I didn't give you permission to come here! Shoo!
Comet: Fountain Pen, that's rude, don't you think? It's not nice to tell others to shoo.
Fountain Pen: *Sighs* Yeah, I guess you're right...
Snowflake: Wait! Is this an object show?
Toy Plane: It is! Bow told us earlier!
Ribbon: *Slaps Toy Plane* I'm not a bow.
Toy Plane: Sorry...
Ribbon: It's OK! Just don't do it again, alrighty?
Toy Plane: OK!
Ribbon: ￼Anyways, hi everyone! My name is Ribbon. This is Object Pandemonium!
MePod: It's an object show.
Ribbon: Gee, thanks a lot Captain Obvious. Anyways, this isn't your ordinary object show! There are no debuts or rejoins that'll send players flying to the front, what you get is what you get! Also, since there are so little contestants to begin with, no double elimination either. You even get to decide fates this time!
Cloudy: This is contestant vote? Yes!
Ribbon: We made the decision because this would allow for more bonding and growing. If every jerk got eliminated one after the other, everyone would be even flatter than paper!
Envelope: You got mail! Open it open it open it open it open it!
Watch: Will do! *Opens Envelope and reads the note* "Our hostess is a blessing!"
Ribbon: Thank you! *Blushes*
Watch: Don't thank me, thank the cinnamon roll! *Picks up Envelope*
Envelope: If Taco is sour cream, then I must be sweet cream!
Umbrella: You fell for him, just like we did, didn't you?
￼Ribbon: I guess so!
Snowflake: So, what's the first contest? I'm dying to earn my prize!
Ribbon: First, we need to pick our teams. I set up a racetrack on the island. Whoever reaches the finish line first wins! Get to the track everyone!
MePod: *Teleports everyone to the track*
Comet: What's up with that?
MePod: It's oh so convenient!
Snowflake: You're no fun!
Ribbon: Hate to break it to you, but yeah. You're no fun.
MePod: Well sorry.
Ribbon: Anyways, the finish line is right behind you, but so nobody backtracks, we decided to put a wall behind you as well. Ready?
Snowflake: So ready! Comet, get ready to be left in the dust!
Comet: Good luck Snowflake!
Umbrella: Alliance! Let's work together!
Watch: But if we all cross together, we'll be split up. I'll go, you two stay.
Umbrella: Really? I'm way faster!
Watch: Fine. We'll stay behind and cheer you on.
Ribbon: Ready, set, GO! *Shoots pistol*
Pencily: *Throws Scissors into the ocean*
Ribbon: Ouch! Pencily is absolutely diabolical! There goes Scissors' chances of leading a team!
Fountain Pen: Nice throw! I don't think I could do that if I tried!
Sunny: Hey Cloudy! Isn't this fun? I'm sure having fun, I mean, it's not everyday we get to have friendly competition...
Cloudy: SHUT UP! *Zaps Sunny*
Ribbon: Oof! Sunny is also out of the running!
Toy Plane: I bet I can fly to the finish line!
Fountain Pen: *Gets on Toy Plane* Hourglass! Pencily! Climb on! We're going to win!
Toy Plane: Guys! Get off! Please! NOOOOOOOOOOO! *Sinks with Fountain Pen, Pencily, and Hourglass*
Ribbon: Man! Plan backfire! Hey, why aren't you running you four?
Telephone: Well, those two want Umbrella to win, and I'm just not a running type. Keyboard? Why aren't you running?
Keyboard: I'm... going... to scale... the wall...
Ribbon: Well, all four of you are disqualified! That leaves only Comet, Cloudy, Snowflake, and Umbrella! This is intense!
Keyboard: Man! Oh well, I would've been disqualified anyways.
Cloudy: This is tough! I could fly, but then I'd be disqualified. Meh, just do it. *Flies*
Ribbon: No way! Cloudy is also out!
Cloudy: Eh, as long as Sunny doesn't win, I'm good.
Comet: Alright! I'm almost there! Time to go fast! *Runs as fast as he can and crosses the finish line*
Ribbon: Wow! Comet is our first team captain!
Umbrella: This is for my alliance! *Speeds up*
Snowflake: Not so fast! I will win! *Speeds up*
Umbrella: *Dives towards the finish*
Ribbon: MePod? Should we count it?
MePod: Well, her body crossed the line... we should.
Ribbon: Well, congratulations Umbrella! You and Comet will be picking the teams next episode!
Umbrella: Ugh, we've been cheated!
Ribbon: Thanks for watching everyone, and I'll see you next time!