Host: Hello, I'm Smokey, and this is Food Battle War! This is a show where 52 foods get to battle for the rights to activate the Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut Destroyer. Let's meet our contestants.
Smokey: Please welcome, Taquito, Celery, Churro, Carrot, Banana, Female Baguette, Burrito, Sausage Link, Corn Dog, Candy Cane, Red Licorice, Granola Bar, Beef Stick, Fried Chicken Leg, String Cheese, Egg Roll, Corn of the Cob, Toaster Pastry, Red Hot Chili Pepper, Pickle, Asparagus, Pizza, Hot Dog, Rainbow Lollipop, Baked Apple Pie, Fried Turkey Leg, Black Licorice, Mozzarella Stick, Chocolate Bar Donut, Eggplant, Candy Bar, Pretzel, Fried Pickle, Giant Gummy Snake, Hot Dog Weiner, Rock Candy, Soy BBQ Rib, Jawbreaker, Bearclaw, Stick of Gum, Vegan Cheesecake, Pineapple, Dragon fruit, Zucchini, Edible Cactus, Male Baguette, Flan, Chocolate Coated Banana, Ginger, Spaghetti, Romanesca, and finally, Vegan Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut.
Romanesca: Yo! I'm gonna win this shebang!
Smokey: Oh yeah? We'll see who wins in the ends. Now let me give you the run down. Your all here because Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut ruined your life.
Contestants: Yeah.
Smokey: Well, Behold! The Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut Destroyer! This machine will destroy all Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donuts in existence!
Vegan PFSD: Please don't tell me it works on Vegan donuts.
Dragon fruit: I'm pretty sure it will.
Smokey: That's where your wrong! You see, I programmed this to remove the regular Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donuts.
Contestants: (Cheering)
Smokey: Now it's time for the first challenge. It's called Laser Tag IRL. Interns, please reveal the foe.
(Interns remove the blanket from cage)
Smokey: For the challenge, you have to try your best to not get zapped by Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut. If you get zapped, your out. The 2 contestants who survive get to pick the teams. GO!
(Interns release PFSD from cage)
PFSD: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Soy BBQ Rib: RUN!
Flan: OMG!
(Rock Candy, Toaster Pastry, Rainbow Lollipop, and Beef Stick)
Rock Candy: Girls, follow me. if we stay together, we'll be sure to win.
Toaster Pastry: Your totally right!
Rainbow Lollipop: Good Idea Rock Candy!
Beef Stick: Rock Candy for Team Captain!
Rock Candy: Oh, thank you girls. Wait, what's that?
Toaster Pastry: That looks like a cave!
Rainbow Lollipop: Your right! It is a cave! We should go to it!
Rock Candy: Good idea Rainbow Lollipop.
(Red & Black Licorice)
Red Licorice: I'm not afraid of you! You don't scare me.
(ZAP)
Red Licorice: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(POOF)
Black Licorice: Woah! What happened!
Smokey: Oh yeah, forgot to mention that if you get zapped, you'll turn into real food.
(ZAP)
Black Licorice: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(POOF)
Flan: So, Candy Bar, how's life?
Candy Bar: Not so good. I just realized that PFSD was the one who took a bite out of me.
Flan: Oh god, that's terrible! Not so "Flantastic"
Candy Bar: NO! DON'T YOU DARE START WITH THOSE FLA-
(ZAP)
Candy Bar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(POOF)
Flan: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! WHAT DO I-
(ZAP)
Flan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(POOF)
(SPLAT)
PFSD: HAHAHA!
(Mozzarella Stick & Soy BBQ Rib)
Soy BBQ Rib: (ANNOYING SCREAMING)
(Wilt: ZZZZZZZZAP)
Soy BBQ Rib: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(POOF)
Mozzarella Stick: Much Better.
(Romanesca & Edible Cactus)
Romanesca: So, Edible Cactus, why are you here?
Edible Cactus: I'm here because PFSD's owner, Ian, ate my face! So I'm paying back by destroying the PFSDs!
Romanesca: Well I'm here because Ian dissed me! He said something so offensive to me!
Edible Cactus: That's awfu-
(ZAP)
Romanesca: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(POOF) (YEAH, YOU THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE EDIBLE CACTUS)
EC: Romanesca!
(ZAP) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(POOF)
Sausage Link: Alright Candy Cane. Just keep on running!
Candy Cane: Okay. Um, are you a mem person?
Sausage Link: Duh!
(ZAP)
Candy Cane: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA-
(POOF)
Sausage Link: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WHAT DO I DO!
Egg Roll: SL! Follow Me!
Sausage Link: Why?
Egg Roll: Just Trust Me!
SL: Jeez, fine.
Not Finished Yet.