Okay, yes, I know that the numbers in the rules up there are pretty messed up. I was already aware of that, happy? Also, this fanfic is in a fictional, non-canon alternate universe/dimension (if you've probably read reference 22) where the timeline is neutral. Which I'm really bad at keeping. I know I've been hinting a little bit of the timeline's whereabouts, but something just needs to be there for the fanfiction. Like you could consider this so-called "MePhone" a flip phone! This place could even be in the 19th century when technology like today has already been invented. How cool would that be? Heck, Pen could be a plastic drill with a cap on so he doesn't hurt anybody! (lel jk probably not) I suck at explaining this. Sorry if you're confused. The reason I kept the timeline a mystery is because I didn't want to disappoint anybody with their opinions. Where there's a place, there needs to be a period of time. Now that I'm almost done with this, I'll just say that I wanted to confirm the whole "timeline" thing because I was paranoid to what you people were thinking. K bye.
Episode 1: Parenting, discipline, and a Happy New Year![]
One Day...[]
(Pen and Eraser are sleeping on a bunk bed; Pen on the bottom bunk, and Eraser on the top.[2][3]
(alarm goes off)
Pen: Ugh...
(Pen reaches to turn off the alarm clock, but the button he presses doesn't make the
Yay! We both have blue hair!
alarm stop, so he repeatedly taps it)
Eraser: *From atop* Y'know, you can just unplug it from the socket.
Pen: But it's too far... *Tapping faster*
Eraser: Pen, don't--
(Pen raises his fist, and it goes through the alarm clock, which electricutes him, and he falls face flat on the floor)
Pen: *cough*
Eraser: Darnit, Pen, that's the third time this week!
Pen: *lifts up head* Week... *realizing* Eraser, we're late for school!
Eraser: Well, it's about time you used something other than triple dots at the end of your sentences! That was actually getting annoying.
Pen: What?
Eraser: Umm...
Pen: Nevermind, i'm going downstairs. *He tries walking to the stairs, but Eraser grabs him by his
This is Pen's best friend, one of the main characters.
cap* Dude, what the heck!?
Eraser: *climbing down bunkbed ladder* Didn't you hear? It's PA day today, which means no school, which means we get to stay home, which means video games for the rest of the day and tomorrow! *huge smile* Oh, and if I were you, I wouldn't go to school looking like that.[4]
Pen: I fell asleep in class yesterday because of video games. I stayed up all wednesday night playing Object zorx[5]2. The teacher didn't notice me sleeping, right?
Eraser: Riiiiiight.
(Flashback. Everyone is in class. Pen is sleeping, and Blocky and Marker are drawing on his face.)
Mr. Moon[6]: Now, if 30 moons are equivalent to 2.43 years, then can someone please find out
He's really weird.
what the answer is if you divide that by 2?
Match: Yeah, like, is this math or science? 'Cause that, like, seemed like a mathy question, and I thought I was in science class.
Mr. Moon: Okay, first of all this is math and science. Also known as SciMath. Second of all, "mathy" isn't a word, but it's a nickname I like to call your math teacher, Mr. Mc2. Thirdly, why are Blocky and Marker drawing on Pen's face?
Match: I dunno. Don't ask me.
Pencil: Pen's asleep, Mr. Moon, sir. *to Match* Now that's what I call respect. That's what you gotta give the teacher, or he'll--
He's such a bully!
Match: Like, who cares about respecting the teacher?
Mr. Moon: *ignoring* Boys, what is the meaning of this?
Marker: *gratefully* I'm making a tattoo, just for him! I'm such a good friend!
Blocky: I'm vandalizing his face with markers just for fun! Haha! Let's see how he likes it!
Mr. Moon: How insensitive! Both of you! Detention for an hour![7] And take Pen to the boys' washroom to wash that bad example off of his face!
(In the hallway. Blocky and Marker are dragging Pen along the ground as he is still in a very deep sleep)
Marker: *carrying Pen's arm* Wow, he's still sleeping. He's a heavy sleeper!
Blocky: *carrying Pen's other arm* Not only is his sleeping heavy; so is his unconscious self!
Marker: *sigh* I just wish we wouldn't have to wash this tremendous deed of friendship off. I worked really hard on it.
Blocky: All you did was draw a mustache and a lightning bolt on his forehead.[8] And what was Mr. Moon talking about when he said "bad example"? That was the perfect example of a bully!
Marker: He meant that was a bad example of a good student, Mr. I-am-a-moron-and-all-i-did-was-draw-ridiculous-scribbles-and-bad-words-all-over-marker's-beautiful-and-sophisticated-art!
Blocky: Why, indeed you are a moron!
(End of flashback)
Pen: My face felt kinda wet when i woke up.
Eraser: Yeeeaaah.
Pen: You're acting weird, Eraser.
Eraser: Uuuuuuuuh, let's go eat lunch, I mean breakfast!
Polystyrene[10]: Yeah, don't call her a "Mrs." *whispering* She doesn't have a last name. Probably.
Ink: *gasp* Pen, what happened to you? You look like you spontaneously combusted and tried cooling down with your bare hands! Is your ball okay?[11]
Pen: Wow, mom. You have one heck of an imagination. Close guess, though. I got electricuted by the alarm clock. And yes, all of me is fine.
Eraser: Y'know, as Pen's parents, weren't you supposed to notice his dreaded appearance right away?
Pen: Oh, c'mon Eraser, we teleported here. It's not their fault. Also, I've broken alarm clocks for like, a million vigintillion times, so I'm pretty sure they're used to it by now. You should be less concerned about how my family treats me. They treat me like a normal child.
Eraser: At least they try to. And besides, we didn't teleport here, that was your imagination.
Pen: Woah, really?
Eraser: Just like your mother.
Polystyrene: [lying]Hey, maybe you're right, Eraser. We should treat our son with utmost respect. Overall the less important stuff, how did the alarm clock electrify you, Son?
Pen: Well, you know how I smashed the other two alarm clocks this week?
Ink: Poly, I knew we couldn't trust him with another alarm clock! It's a habit now! We can't buy another one. It'll be pointless, he's gonna smash it anyways! All the money, wasted!
Polystyrene: Calm down, woman! I admit it, I regret buying those last two clocks--
Pen: Last three clocks.
Polystyrene: -But how else are we supposed to wake him up? You know how late he sleeps.
Ink: I guess we're going to have to do this the hard way.
Polystyrene: You don't mean-
Ink: No gadgets for ten hours everyday.
Pen: Noooooooo!
Ink: Fine, eight.
Pen: I can live with that.
Ink: You're lucky this is the weekend. But after breakfast, you have to do some chores. If you complete them, you'll earn your reward, which is doing whatever you want for the rest of the weekend!
Pen: What!? Since when was that a thing?
Ink: Me and your father were just talking about it, and I assumed this was a great time to say it.
Pen: But why?
Polystyrene: Discipline, Pen. Discipline.
Pen: What's that? Why do I need it?
Polystyrene: Okay, you're asking too many questions to answer. Just go and eat breakfast.
Pen: At least I've got my best pal Eraser to help me with the chores! *he sees Eraser leaving at the entrance door* Eraser, where are you going?
Eraser: Uuuuuuuhh, well, you see, my parents must be worried about me, and I just realized that I don't eat bacon for breakfast.
Pen: Your parents confirmed that you would stay until 2:00, and we're eating pancakes! *holds up plate*
Eraser: Goodbye! *closing door* And good luck.
Pen: *to Polystyrene* You said you were going to treat me with utmost respect!
Polystyrene: Look, I know you're upset, and everything is happening too quickly. Also, I actually said we should treat you with utmost respect.
Pen: AND. YOU. WILL.
Polystyrene: *intimidated* Okay, okay, okay, we will. But this isn't the right time. Let's just get to the point here. Your mother and I really think you should do something other than smash alarm clocks and play video games all day. It's just not healthy. Soccer, perhaps?
Pen: I don't even play soccer, and I'm not even good at it.[12]
Polystyrene: Exactly. Which is why we're making sure that you sign up for the boys' soccer team at school. We don't care if you don't join, we just want you to have fun and at least do something physical.
Pen: Dad, the tryouts for the soccer team already passed. Get with the times.
Polystyrene: Oh. I was afraid you were going to say that. We'll figure something out.
Pen: Yeah, whatever.
Polystyrene: It's okay, son--
Pen: Don't patronize me!
(After breakfast. They are now in the living room.)
Ink: Okay, rookie! Here's your first chore! Look out the window. What do you see?
Pen: Snow. Like, alot of it. Wow. What do I do exactly? *gasp* Do I get to build a snowman?
Ink: *facepalm* Do you even know what "chores" mean, honey?
Pen: Pfft, yeah, of course I do! They're like, um, these things...That you...do.
(Cut to the driveway. Ink and Pen both have shovels. Ink shovels half of the driveway, and throws the snow onto the side.)
Ink: Now you do what I just did.
Pen: Mom, you shoveled, like, half the driveway. How am I supposed to do the other half? It's too much for a child like me.[14] So can I do a quarter of it or something?
Ink: Pen, I started doing chores when I was 8.
Pen: So?
Ink: It shouldn't be so hard for you. Now DO IT!
Pen: Yes ma'am! *starts shoveling*
(One hour later. They are now in Pen's bedroom.)
Ink: Look at it. It's disgusting. *a view of a very messy bedroom is shown.*
Pen: I know, right? I can't believe that pizza is 4 weeks old. *zoom into a bitten, rotten pizza with all kinds of bugs crawling over it, on the floor of the bedroom.*
Ink: *about to throw up* I think your father can take it from here. *she runs to the washroom and vomits offscreen while Pen watches in horror.*
(Cut to the laundry room. Pen is with Polystyrene instead.)
Polystyrene: Did you really have to mention the pizza?
Pen: Hey, you knew about it and you didn't vomit your guts out. Literally. I mean come on, I thought she was talking about the pizza, which was like the most noticeable thing in the whole bedroom! Aside from the bed, the shelf, the--
Polystyrene: Okay, you talk too much. Forget everything that happened in the past, and let's laundry.
Pen: Alright, give me the instructions.
Polystyrene: It is most important to contrast the darkest colored clothes to the lightest colored clothes and split them into two groups. Because if you mix the colors with eachother, then the clothes will be ruined in the process. Got it?
Pen: I've got a question. What if some clothes are grey or ambiguous?
Polystyrene: Geez, calm your vocabulary.[15] Anyways, if you run into that, then put it in any of the piles.
Pen: Okey dokey!
(At first, Pen messes up, then messes up again, and then he finally gets it.)
Pen: Finally, we're done. Those clothes smelled like serious crap.
Polystyrene: Your room smells ten times worse.
Pen: What?
Polystyrene: Nothing! I will do the rest of the laundry, and you can go and play video games or scold Eraser for ditching you or something. You did a pretty good job at organizing. Even though it took like, an hour. And a couple disasters. But other than that, you earned it.
Pen: Seriously? Aww, thanks dad! *runs upstairs to the door*
(Foyer. Pen is about to open the door.)
Ink: And where do you think you're going?
Pen: I'm going to Eraser's, mom. Don't worry, I'll be back in time to still clean my bedroom and throw out that disgusting--
Ink: Do NOT mention it. Ever. Don't you know how long it took to recover?
Pen: Mom, of course I do. But right now, I should really be complaining to my best friend about how much of a jerk scumbag he is.
Ink: Harsh. I don't think he really deserves that, but whatever. Fine, you can go. Don't delay your promise!
Pen: I won't. I'll be back at 4:00! *goes out the door*
Ink: *cringing* How did that thing get in his room?
(Flashback. Pen's bedroom.)
Pen: You gonna eat that? You've been holding it for a pretty long time.
Eraser: Nah. I lost my appetite. *throws pizza on the floor*
Pen: *gasp* Do you realize what you just did?
Eraser: I threw a pizza on the floor. Big deal. *a bunch of bugs crawl all over it* Never mind.
Pen: Ewwww, I am not touching that.
Eraser: But--
Pen: It's too late, Eraser. That pizza's been contaminated. But hey, at least those bugs have a place to live. Well, until they run out of pizza to eat.
Eraser: So how are you going to tell this to your parents?
Pen: Easy, I won't. But I'll tell my dad, like, two days after because I know I can trust him, and he doesn't really take things too seriously. But as for my mom, I'll tell her about 4 weeks after because, well, she's a huge germaphobe.[16]
Eraser: Nice thinking!
Pen: I know, I'm a genius. And now I feel like smacking you in the face because my mom will probably find out before I tell her.
Eraser: Nice thinking! Oh wait, what?
(End of flash. Pen is walking up Eraser's driveway. Pen reaches the door and knocks really hard.)
Pen: OPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENO-- *Eraser opens the door and accidentally hits him*
Eraser: I knew we should've gotten a doorbell. What do you want?
Pen: *getting up, painfully* I'm... Going to give youuu... A peice... Of my MIND! *a bone in his shoulder cracks and he falls* Owww... Bruh, not cool. I mean, did you really have to open the door that hard?
Eraser: What's your point?
Pen: Alright, you've had your laughs. But this time, Eraser, this time, you're--
Eraser: I'm sorry.
Pen: Don't interrupt me when i'm talking! This time... You're gonna be sorry? I-I mean you were, but, y'know in a different sense...
Eraser: See, everything's solved. Now what's up?
Pen: Oh, it's just problems like... Okay, nice try. I'm not letting you off the hook that easily.
Eraser: *looking up* No, I mean the what's up that's "in a different sense."
Pen: *looks up* Oh, crap. Eraser, can we hold hands?
Eraser: Ew, no.
Pen: LOL! I'm just JK kidding! *a large cardboard box falls on them*
Eraser: *from under box* Weirdo.
(At thesame time, they both lift the box from underneath and throw it to the side.)
Pen: Hey, look! It says "Happy new year!" Wait a second. Eraser, it's not PA day. We're just not going to school because of the fact that it's a new year.
Eraser: Wow, really? Heh, to be honest, I wasn't really paying attention in class yesterday. Actually, I never do.
Pen: Hey, I know that look. Eraser, do we have school today or not?
Eraser: Uuuuh, okay, okay! I'll tell the truth. And before you start complaining, none of it would've happened in the first place if it wasn't for you.
Pen: What are you talking about?
Eraser: I know I've been acting weird. Part of it was because I didn't want to do chores with you for no good reason, and the other part was because I was afraid you would find out that your face has been drawn on and bathroom washed in the hands of the most annoying people you've ever met. *deep breath* Gosh, I said alot. And I know, at this point you'd be pretty mad, but how would you remember that, you were asleep. Before Marker and Blocky started drawing on your face--
Pen: Waitwaitwait, Marker? The Blocky part makes sense, but Marker? As much as I hate him on the inside for being oh, so annoying, he still wanted to be my best friend. He even thought we were cousins! I hope that's not true, but has he been secretly hating me this whole time and pretending to be nice just so he could take advantage of my reputation? Or did he find out that I secretly despise him, so he felt terrible inside, and he wanted sweet revenge at the right time!?
Eraser: Bruh, no. An idiot like him wouldn't make such an elaborate plan. It was simply because he thought he was doing you a favor by "planting this magnificent work of art on his paper white canvas, letting it embrace its beauty".[17]
Pen: *creeped out* Uh, did he really say that? I mean, my face isn't that white, right? Right?
Eraser: Calm down. No he didn't. I really wanna open that box, so can I tell the story later? Oh, and tbh your whole body is white. Not trying to be "racist", or anything, but you're literally white.
Pen: Alright, that's enough of that. I won't act like those sensitive humans. Tell me first, then you can open the box.
Eraser: And what makes you the person in charge of telling me what to do?
Pen: Eraser, I deserve to know. Do you know what I've been through today? The truth will only make up for it.
Eraser: Touché. Okay, I'll continue my story. But I dibs on opening the box first after I tell you.
Pen: Deal.
Eraser: Kkk so long story short I went to the washroom before you fell asleep so I knew nothing of when Blocky and Marker were drawing on ur face and then when I was washing my hands back in the washroom Blocky and Marker entered and they were carrying you--
Pen: Dude plz slow down. You really wanna open that box, do you?
Eraser: Of course! And fine, i'll stop talking so fast. Where was I? Oh yeah, so they were carrying you so I questioned them-
(Flashback. In the boy's washroom.)
Eraser: What the...? What happened to Pen? Why are you of all people carrying him?
Blocky: We drew on his face and got in trouble so I guess it's our responsibility to clean it cuz it's our fault.
Marker: Yeah, what he said. Man, you are so lucky to be his best friend, you know?
Eraser: Thanks. But you don't understand. He could be a pain in the neck sometimes. So, can I like, see his face?
Blocky: Sure. *lifts up Pen's head*
Eraser: *hysterically laughing* Omg, you really put the effort into making that! Haha, a lightning bolt? Nice one, Blocky!
Eraser: Okaaaaaaay, maybe we should just wash Pen's face before he wakes up and the bell rings. *The bell rings* Gosh darn it, why must things be so ironic?!
Marker: Do you know what this means? We have to hurry! This was our second last period!
Eraser: Second last? That means we're gonna be late for-
Blocky: The assembly!
Pen: *yawn* Can we keep iiit?
Blocky, Marker, and Eraser: AAAAAAAAAHH
Blocky: It's alive!
Pen: *fully awake* Ah! What's happening?!
Blocky, Marker, and Eraser: AAAAAA-- *Blocky punches Pen so hard that he passes out*
Marker and Eraser: What the heck is wrong with you?! *they look at eachother*
Blocky: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I panicked!
Eraser: Okay, all we need to do is wash his face and get him to the gym... Without waking him up!
Blocky: And being totally humiliated.
Marker: Hmm, I have an idea. *Blocky and Eraser wait for him to talk*
Blocky: What's the idea?!
Marker: I meant after we wash his face, because we're gonna draw on his face again! Actually, I am.
Blocky: I always knew you were an idiot. So I guess you are related to Pen.
Marker: Oh, being related to Pen would be absolutely marvelous! But I am not an idiot. And neither is Pen. So here's the plan. After his face his washed, I'm going to draw on his face to make him seem like he is awake. No offense to you guys, but I don't think you could draw as realistically as me.[18]
Blocky: ...None taken.
Eraser: Seriously dude, that lightning bolt was so terrrrrrrrrrrific![19] It's just that all you need to do is color his eyelids black and that's it!
Marker: Eraser just let me handle this. I'll find my black colored marker while you two wash his face as gently as possible... But please do it as fast as you can.
Blocky: Wait, you're carrying markers?
Marker: Always. After all, I am a marker myself. Now hurry!
(End of flashback.)
Eraser: ...So then we found out that you were a heavy sleeper so we washed more quicky and then we took you to the gym entrance door where no one could see you and then we woke you up and told you a big fat lie and then you shrugged it off like nothing happened.
Pen: Oh... Uhh, I don't really know how to react to this. But at least you told the truth. In like, ever.
Eraser: Awww, does this mean I have to tell many more truths? Well, you know what? I am so not.
Pen: No, no. You don't have to. But I'll tell you this. You can be a pain in the neck sometimes--
Eraser: That sounds familiar. Now, where have I heard that before?
Pen: Shush! Actually, you can be a pain in the neck most of the time. But, you know, I forgive you. For now. I'm kind of eager to see what's in that box. But as promised, I'll give you the honors of opening it.
(Eraser opens the box. Match and Pencil pop out of it, breathing heavily)
Pen and Eraser: AAAAAAAAAHH
Eraser: Oh my gosh, this scenario seems too familiar. I'm getting soooo reminiscent right now.
Pen: ...Heaven sent two angels to rescue us from this cruel life? In a box filled with styrofoam peanuts? On a New Year? *to Eraser* I get the feeling that things are about to get better.
Match: *coughing out peanuts* Omg, we are not like, angels. Well, actually, maybe we are.
Pencil: Oh, thank you for saving us! I mean, it took you long enough.
Pen: No, thank you.
Match: Like, we heard the whole story, and we were like, so surprised.
Pencil: No, it was hilarious. In other words, I loved it! It was so awesome, it could be a bedtime story or something!
Pen: *gasp* So you girls know about it too? *gasp* Eraser, did you tell the you-know-what to everyone in the entire gym?
Eraser: No, I didn't. Swear to life, swear to God, swear on everything.
Pen: ... How do I know you're not lying?
Eraser: Pen, have I ever told you a lie where I sweared to, like, everything?
Pen: Okay, so that means you'll keep it a secret. What about Blocky and Marker? More especially, Blocky?
Eraser: It's okay. Marker, and even Blocky's lips are sealed. Wait, but you were still in class when you fell asleep yesterday.
Pen: Yeah...?
Eraser: Well, let's just say that when they drew on your face, the rest of the class was laughing at you.
Pen: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOO--
Eraser: But then Marker did something so committed to you, that you have to legit hand it to him.
Pen: What? When he drew on my face to cover what happened to me? Pfffft, that doesn't matter anymore, I was gonna thank him, but now--
Eraser: He used forgetting spray on everybody in the class. Except for me. Thankfully. Blocky got sprayed too, so yeah his lips are sealed because he doesn't even know anymore lol.
Match, Pencil, and Pen: ... Wh--
Eraser: Yes, I know it sounds like a crazy made up lie that I would make. But no, this is true. Swear to life, swear to Go--
Pen: Will you stop cutting me off?! Ha, now you know how I feel when I get cut off. Besides that, we all know about the swearing on things and now I trust you whenever you swear on stuff for some reason. And I also know how rich Marker is so he had one of his dad's products which was the--
Eraser: Forgetting Spray or Forgetful Spray or whatever.
Pen: Grrrrrrrrr... Eraser, that's really pissing me off. Can you please stop?
Eraser: Stop what? Cutting you off? Okay. Swear to--
Pen: Good. Match and Pencil, do you have your phones?
Match: No, because I got grounded for like, ruining my neighbor's lawn and garden.
Pencil: Nope, I left it at home. Why do you ask?
Pen: Oh I don't know, probably because since you're popular, you have like, almost every single person at school's access to text messaging, so you could insantly tell everyone what happened to me.
Pencil: Wow, you sure think ahead, do you? Well, you have my word. I promise I won't tell a soul.
Match: Hmm, if Pencil's keeping this a secret, then, like, I'm keeping this a secret. You can like, trust us.
Pen: Gee, thanks. I'm not sure if I could trust a girl that says "like" all the time, though.
Match: Like, force of habit! It just rolls over my tongue like-- Gosh darnit.
Pen: Uuuhhh, anyways, I have a lot of stuff on my mind right now. Mostly questions. First of all, why were you two in a package box that randomly fell from the sky? I mean, I'm really disappointed right now, I thought you were angels for a second.
Match: More like 5 seconds.
Pencil: Oh, that. Well, since it's a New Year, we decided to volunteer for delivering each student a package that has a present inside it given from the staff themselves. But, we wanted our delivery to have some style. So, yours truly came up with the idea. Half of it.
Pen: You came up with crushing us with a large cardboard box as a delivery?
Pencil: No, I would never do that to you. Actually, I would never do that to anyone. We were aiming beside you, but the frikin helicopter didn't drop us at the right time, and then it almost fell on you.
Eraser: But who came up with the other half of the idea?
Match: Pencil, like, had the idea to make the box fall with like, the element of surprise. Me, I just had the delivery to be sent to you boys. Also, this. (She presses a button that releases confetti from the box)
Eraser: *to Pen* Wow, she's good.
Pen: What, are there like, confetti cannons under those styrofoam peanuts?
Pencil: Yep. But unfortunately that's not the present that the staff gave you. Just so you know, all the presents are exactly the same. But you'll have to find it cuz we're not getting it for you and I'm not getting out of this box.
Pen: Why?
Pencil: Because it's warm and cozy in all this styrofoam. Also because we almost suffocated to death in this box and I don't think you deserve to be formally handed a gift by us.
Pen: Dude Pencil, your box almost crushed us! If it did crush us, then you would suffocate to death.
Pencil: You really do think ahead, do you? But still. It wasn't our fault that you almost got crushed by this very box. It was the helicopter pilot. Who I don't know about at all.
Match: How about we just, like, calm down for bit plz? Guys, just open the box. It'll only make Pencil feel, like, more better.
Eraser: Um, who cares if she doesn't feel better? *Pencil glares at him* Nevermind. Pen, do you want to search for the present? I already opened the box so, I guess it's your turn if you want.
Pen: Yes, I would gladly like to search for the present. *approaches box* Girls, if you would move over a little, please. *Match and Pencil shrug and move to the right*
Match: They kind of buried it in a bit too deep. You should, like, make sure to dig as much as you, like, can.
Pen: Like, I will. *puts arm in the box* Hmm, let's see... Hey, is it a snowglobe or something? Because that would be pretty lame.
Match: No, not even close. Jerk.
Pen: Heyyyyyyy, I was just joking around. Honestly, I don't really care if you say "like" or not. *digs deeper* Geez, if it's that deep, then it must be small. Like a... Like a MePhone! The latest one!
Pencil: *sigh* No, but that would be awesome. I would love a new MePhone, mine is all glitchy and cracked.
Match: You, like, always crack yours.
Pencil: You crack yours too, you know?
Eraser: So, Match... Why did you choose to deliver this to us?
Match: 'Cause there weren't any, like spots left except for you guys.
Eraser: Wait, really? People must hate us.
Pencil: *whispering to Match* Liar.
Match: *whispering* It's fun to like, toy with them so why not?
Pen: What was that?
Match and Pencil: Nothing!
Pen: Okay? My arm searched everywhere. I guess I have to go inside the box. I mean, did they have to put styrofoam peanuts in it? Whatever. *about to go in*
Pencil: You know what, this is taking too long. *she grabs something out of the pile* Here.
Eraser: Really?
Pen: The staff are freaking trolls.
(In Pencil's hand is a smaller version of the cardboard box.)
Eraser: Heh, a cardboard box in a cardboard box. Cardboard boxception, amirite?
Pen: Not helping.
Eraser: It's because you've been thinking of all that wasted effort. Lighten up a bit, man.
Pen: *sigh* I'll just take this... *takes cardboard box from Pencil and opens it* Oh. My. Gosh.
Pencil: Yeah, you never would have guessed it.
Match: Dat face doh.
Eraser: What? What is it? *looks inside* Woah!
(Inside the box are five 50 dollar bills, and a small bunch of treats.)
Eraser: Ddddaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnggg!!!!!! Those are some nice choco bars. *grabs a bunch of choco bars* I'll be taking these, please and thank you.
Pen: *tearing up* Pencil.
Pencil: What is it?
Pen: *sniff* I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-
Pencil: Oh, just spit it out.
Pen: I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pencil: Well, you could've said thank you or something, but... Happy New Year, Pen.
Match: Wait, you're crying about the present? Oh come on, it should've been, like, 100 dollar bills instead. No, 1000 dollar bills! Also, it needed more candy.
Eraser: I DEFINITELY agree with that. Especially the candy part hue.
Pen: *takes 50 dollar bills* Imma show dis to mah parents and put it in mah secret piggehbank.
Eraser: Hold up hold up hold up. I think that I should be showing that to my parents and rubbing in their faces, excusez-moi. I'm even letting you have some leftover candy from the box.
Pen: But you took all the choco bars! You know I don't like those over-scented gumdrop pellets! Nobody does! *Match and Pencil nod their heads* But I guess the super-sour saucers[21] and the yoyleberry flavored starpowders are pretty good.
Eraser: Oh, sorry. *gives him one single choco bar* I'm so generous. Now, gimme the bills!
Match: Geez, just, like, chill, you greedy pink rubber 3D-ish parallelogram! You got a present too, silly.
Eraser: Sweet! More choco bars for meeee! Nah just kidding. Here you go, Pen! *gives him the choco bars back*
Pen: Thanks, man. So, what are you guys gonna buy with this money? Like, we each have a total of 250 dollars right?
Pencil: Yeah, I've been thinking about that for a while, and... I have no idea. Yet. I'll think of something.
Match: Um, Pencil, isn't it obvious? The new Mephone4, of course![22] I saved up just enough allowance to buy it combined with this, like, 250 dollars. We can buy it together, Pencil!
Pencil: Oh, yeah! I should've thought of that. I'm so excited!
Pen and Eraser: Hmm...
Pen: Dude, are you thinking what i'm thinking?
Eraser: ... I think.
Pen and Eraser: Playstallion!!!!!!!!!
Eraser: Also, new video games.
Pen: Yeah, I can see me now...*A thought bubble appears. Inside it, Pen is excessively drinking soda and frantically pressing buttons on his video game controller while eraser is sleeping on a couch. Bags of chips everywhere and other food debris*
Match: Ew, he's drooling.
Pencil: *laughing* If I had my phone right now, I would so take a picture of that.
Eraser: PEN, WAKE UP!!!!!
Pen: Aah! Geez, dude, chill. *sigh* You know, i'm gonna be really proud, showing these bills to my parents. I mean, I feel like I did a small part in earning this money. Maybe I didn't. That's probably just my self-centeredness kicking in. Speaking of my parents, I wonder how they're doing?
(Back at Pen's house. Polystyrene and Ink are in the living room, watching tv.)
Polystyrene: You know, i'm happy that we don't have to work today. It being a New Year and all.
Ink: Yeah. If there's one thing that i'm proud of my son for that he did last year, i'm glad he donated to the school fundraiser. We didn't even have to tell him to do it, like we usually do. Heck, we didn't even know about it.
Polystyrene: Um, honey, he never tells us about these school stuff. Also, he just used that five dollar bill to donate because he "didn't know what to do with it".
Ink: Oh. Well, i'm still proud of him, no matter what stupid reason he did it for.
Polystyrene: You wanna know what i'm proud of him for? Finally jumping off of the highest diving board in the swimming center. That was quite manly of him.
Ink: ...Whatever you say, dear.
(Flashback. Pen is on the edge of a diving board.)
Pen: *deep breath* Okay, Pen. You can do this.*looks at Polystyrene, who is staring intently at him, then looks down* Ack! S-sorry dad, I can't do this anymore. *turns around, and sees Flower*
Flower: Aren't you gonna jump, loser?
Pen: Oh no. This is bad. I-i mean, I, um, uh--
Flower: Oh my gardener, what a wimp! I think you need a little help. You got five seconds, or else i'm gonna push you off!
Pen: P-please don't--
Flower: 4, 2,
Pen: Hey, that's not--
Flower: Time's up! *shoves*
Pen: *whilst falling* Nnnnooooooooooooo!
(Offscreen splash. End of flashback.)
Ink: Ah!
Polystyrene: What? Is it something I said?
Ink: Yes No, no. *sigh* I guess time goes faster than you can realize. Our son's already growing up. Not really, but at least he kind of is. I can tell. Happy New Year, Poly.
Polystyrene: Happy New Year, dear. Oh hey, that rhymes!
Ink: It sure does.
(Episode ends. Finally.)
References[]
↑It could be anyyear, because object years are pretty confusing now, and nobody knows their exact ages. I was looking at the 2016 calander
↑They're at Pen's home. They are in a guest room or something. Could be the basement.
↑Also, Eraser was just sleeping over. I don't really know where they got the bunkbed, nor do I care.
↑He's talking about how bad he looks when he's electricuted. You know, how people in cartoons look like.
↑Zorx is just a made-up word when I was little. I know, it sounds ridiculous. But, it sounded pretty cool in my opinion.
↑The reason why Pencil was talking to match about respecting teachers. They can be pretty harsh.
↑A reference to Harry Potter. If you know what that is. Or if you don't.
↑That's a glass bottle of Ink, also known as Ink. She is what makes Pen's blood ink.
↑It's the kind of plastic that pens are made of.[1]
↑Pen is considered a ballpoint pen, so he's supposed to have a steel ball under his cap that delivers ink like normal pens. But who knows, something else could be under there.
↑[spoilers] Oh, don't worry, he's gonna be good at it and he's going to love it.
↑Don't worry. Eraser's just doing an impression of Marker. A pretty good one, too.
↑Lol he's probably thinking "I hope Eraser takes so much offense that he'll grow an empty hole in his soul"
↑He was about to say "terrible" but then changed it to "terrific" at the perfect time.
↑Fine, I admit that Pen is kind of being a jerk in this episode. But that's only meant for humor reasons. Which i'm really bad at. I guess I could apologize to the PenxPencil shippers for making them fight. But imo that's what's so interesting.
↑It was just another made-up thing by me. What if that candy actually existed somewhere lol Jk.
↑...That kinda gave away the year, didn't it? Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter because this is NOT canon with Before BFDI. Definitely not. I should've said that earlier. This takes place in an alternate universe, where they're probably, like 12 or something.
