Inanimate Quarrel

For real this time.

Also, I literally had no idea for a title. Might change it later, I guess.

"Intro" Music (also swearing in the title) (desired intro music at about 2:01)

Contestants
Hanger (Host, ♂): A very uninterested person. Like, VERY uninterested. Does not mess around.

Kale (♂): Competitive and rough. Will always want to win.

Window (♂): Likes being orderly. Easily flustered.

Paperclip (Legless, ♂): Very clumsy, but good friend.

Spinach Can (♂): A farm person, very raspy and picky.

Dumbbell (♂): Always tries his best to protect people. He would sacrifice himself for anyone.

Death Arcana (♂): A maniac who only wants to bring pain.

Pincushion (♂): Another maniac, this time around not as savage. Specializes in voodoo.

Wine Bottle (♂): An argentinian who is learning english. Very melodramatic.

Fencey (♂): Literally a white Gaty with arms. A jock, but he isn't all that rude.

Anvil (Armless, ♂): A very smart bully, with a secret tickle fetish.

Gravestone (♂): A horror fanatic. Shy and self-isolationist.

Windy (♂): A prankster, who will go through extreme procedures just to prank someone.

Beer Bottle (♂): Cool, pretty laid back. Usually gets into fights, as he tries to be as offensive as possible.

Surfboard (♂): Radical. Surfer.

Beartrap (Armless, ♂): A canadian lumberjack. A bit annoying. Eh?

Fireball (♀): Very nice, but she doesn't want to be. She's always trying to find a way to be original.

Screw (♀): Always messes up stuff. She tries to be useful.

Gold Ingot (Armless,♀): Cheery, but also greedy.

Shopping Bag (♀): An obssesive shopper who uses valleyspeak. Very annoying.

Star (♀): Very strong and athletic.

Cactus (Armless, ♀): A happy-go-lucky hugger.

Flashing Sign (♀): Looking for a lifelong partner. A caring person.

Xylophone (♀): Rusty. Poor, is on the show for media attention.

Keyboard (Armless, ♀): A tech nerd. Has a lot of quirks.

Jail Cell (♀): A secluded freedom fighter.

Roady (♀): Very long contestant. Can elongate at will. Klutz.

Lily Pad (♀): Girly and naive. Always looks for the good side of things.

Hammer (♀): A jerk. Always wants to be the center of attention.

Hearty (♀): Hateable person. Acts rude and mean to everyone around her, but has a loving inside.

Crown (Mouthless?, ⚪): Calm, understanding and loyal.

Calendar (⚨): Mostly oblivious to everything that happens around them. Aspiring writer.