Before BFDI

Before BFDI is a fanfiction created on December 13, 2014. It takes place throughout the month preceding BFDI.

Synopsis
Pencil is oblivious to all the advertisements surrounding BFDI, despite the rest of the world's knowledge.

Characters
In order of appearance/dialogue.
 * Pencil, the protagonist at 17 years
 * Needle, Pencil's sister at 14 years
 * Nelson, Pencil and Needle's younger brother at 8 years
 * Estigua, their mother who can understand Portuguese but refuses to speak others
 * Mr. Czecherson, a mean teacher
 * Book, Pencil's friend
 * Bubble, Pencil's friend who has a tendency to say vowels as oi!
 * Ruby, Pencil's friend
 * Blocky, head of the Gang of 8
 * Eraser, Pen and Match's (step-)brother, Match's love interest and gang member
 * Pen, Pencil's boyfriend, Match and Eraser's brother
 * Knife, a gang member
 * Match, Pencil's, like, best friend, Pen and Eraser's step-sister
 * 1st Cameraman
 * '''Test Tube, apothecary intern, chemist and Portuguese language scholar
 * '''Woody, Estigua and Test Tube's patient
 * '''Golf Ball, Principal of the school
 * '''Tennis Ball, 18th Hall monitor of the school
 * Mrs. Chembe, teacher of Pencil, Pen, Match, Bubble and Blocky
 * Apple, a student who is first in attendance
 * Ms. A, their 1st sub
 * Mrs. Zheng, their 2nd sub
 * Ms. Compass, their 3rd sub
 * Yarn Ball, thrown by Blocky at Ms. Compass
 * Mr. Submarine, their last sub
 * Monocler, a stuck up British student
 * Mr. Cove, Kenya history teacher
 * BFDI Fairy
 * Mrs. Imamura, a teacher whom Match never had

Saturday, December 1, 2007
Scene: The Triángolo's house. [Enter Estigua] [''They get driven to the school. Pencil meets in the remains of Mrs. Chembe's classroom. This is where she sees her friends Book, Bubble and Ruby, who are in for the same reason.] [Several names later] [''Lots of screaming and yelling, and Czecherson does not wake up. Blocky angrily opens the door, and Ruby runs around screaming. '']
 * Pencil : [waking up ] Needle, 'ave'ee woken?
 * Needle : [half-asleep] No.
 * Pencil : Needy…
 * Needle : [slaps her] Don't call me Needy!
 * Nelson : Call her Needy! [slaps] Call her Needy! [slaps]
 * Pencil : Needle, what time is it?
 * Needle : 8:50, wh—
 * Pencil : No!
 * Estigua : Acorde, tens sábado detenção.
 * Needle : Why?
 * Pencil : Mum!
 * Mr. Czecherson : You should know why I have gathered you all here.
 * Pencil : So we can be bored?
 * Czecherson : No.
 * Bo ok : You knew we'd be bored without schoool!
 * Czecherson : No.
 * Bubble : To toyrture us!
 * Czecherson : Maybe.
 * Ruby : I told you guys!
 * Pencil : [quietly] Okay, why hisn't Match 'ere? She was with us th' whole time!
 * Ruby : I'm sure she ditched the detention.
 * Pencil, Book & Bubble: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
 * Czecherson : Be quiet and listen up as I say your name for role. Ladies first. Pencil.
 * Pencil : 'Ere!
 * Czecherson : Book.
 * Bo ok : Here.
 * Czecherson : Bubble.
 * Bubble : Hoyre!
 * Czecherson : Ruby.
 * Ruby : Here!
 * Czecherson : And now for the boys. Blocky.
 * Blocky : [who has been sitting on the far side of the classroom with his gang of 8] Here.
 * Czecherson : Eraser.
 * Eraser : Here.
 * Czecherson : Pen.
 * P en : Here. [sitting behind the girls]
 * Czecherson : And that's all.
 * Pencil : Omg, Pen, you are here?
 * P en : Yeah.
 * Bo ok : Why? [he points towards Blocky's gang]
 * Ruby : Well that ain't nice!
 * Pencil : [with hearts in her eyes] How I love fer a bad boy!
 * Bo ok : I do too! [Pencil slaps her, unintentionally, of course]
 * Blocky : Look, Czecherson's sleeping! Let's get out, boys! [They go out. Pen hides behind the girls.]
 * Czecherson : [audibly snoring] κχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχχ— [hears the door open] DON'T GO OUT!!!
 * Blocky : [censored], Ruby, it's all your fault for telling on him!
 * Ruby : What did I do?
 * Eraser : You too dumb for gem school! [They laugh cruelly. Knife throws igneous rocks at Ruby.]
 * Ruby : Ow! You monsters!
 * Bo ok : You troglodytes!
 * Pencil : Ye sad excuses o' men!
 * Bubble : You woirdos!
 * Knife : Then stop stealing Pen from us!
 * Pencil : No one takes Pen from me.
 * Czecherson : RUBY, SETTLE DOWN!!!
 * Ruby : Sorry, Mr. Czecherson. [The boys laugh.] I didn't mean to… [They laugh harder, and they laugh the hardest of them all when Ruby cries. Mr. Czecherson is asleep.]
 * Pencil : Don't cry, Ruby…

Sunday, December 2
Scene: A crowded street. [They go to the Apothecary, where Test Tube and Estigua are working on Woody, a patient.] [Enter Pencil, Match and Ruby]
 * Ruby : [hurrying along] It's time to see what my friends are doing!
 * Pencil : Yeah, an' so we were, like, inzultin' Blocky an' 'is alliance.
 * Match : Omg, did you get Eraser?
 * Pencil : Oh, we got 'em all!
 * Match : Oh no!
 * Ruby : Hi!
 * Match & Pencil: Hey girl!
 * Ruby : By any chance were you talking about me yesterday?
 * Match : Yeah, but, like, all good things.
 * Pencil : Aye.
 * Ruby : I did such a heroic act yesterday!
 * Match : Ooh, really? … [The background zooms in a ton, into subatomic. Every eight atoms in Match's phosphorous head bands together into an element called b enjamin f ranklinium. 
 * Ruby : It's so great how you'd do the same— [Zoom out]
 * Match : Ow! I'm sorry, but my hair feels, like, different.
 * Pencil : You're sure 'ee don't want to go to me mum at ther Apoth'cary?
 * Match : Sure.
 * Ruby : We'd better go; it's about to rain! [''They hurry off to Estigua's laboratory, abandoning the cameraman in the process.
 * Cameraman : Wait!
 * Estigua : Prego.
 * Test Tube : Nail?
 * Estigua : Sim. [hands over nail]
 * Woody : Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
 * Estigua : Martelo.
 * Test Tube : Hammer?
 * Estigua : Sim. [hands over hammer]
 * Woody : Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
 * Estigua : Caipirinha.
 * Test Tube : Screwdriver?
 * Estigua : Não!
 * Test Tube : Oh, it's wonderful to be your intern and your Portuguese student, Mrs. Triángolo!
 * Estigua : Tanto faz.
 * Test Tube : De nada!
 * Pencil : MUM! I need yer 'elp.
 * Test Tube : Not now, she's working.
 * Pencil : Oh, she understands English. [Estigua turns around] Match 'as somethin' in 'er 'air.
 * Test Tube : [grabs a microscope and observes Match's head] I see, it's a chemical that we haven't discovered before!
 * Match : Which is?
 * Test Tube : It's extremely rare, called BfDI. Benjaminfranklinium deuterium iodide.
 * Pencil, Match & Ruby: Ooh!
 * Test Tube : It shouldn't be very dangerous, but it is extremely contagious! [changing the subject] So you know when you're sick, you have to stay home?
 * Match : [excited] Yeah!
 * Test Tube : You have to go to school since you're sick.
 * Match : Wait, what!?

Monday, December 3
Scene: At the school. [Enter Match, coughing] [Enter Bubble during] [Exeunt Pencil and Bubble, quietly. The principal and the Hall Monitor watch, cheering on Pen, more of an ally than Match is to them.] [''They walk to Mrs. Chembe's classroom for home room, hoping not to be late. Match runs toward Pencil. In Mrs. Chembe's room, everyone is chattering about who the substitute teacher is going to be. Fortunately, nobody notices them enter. The bell rings.''] [''The students chatter more, recognising the voice. Enter'' Mrs. Chembe, their teacher.] [Flashback] [Omnes exeunt. '']
 * Pencil : [sighs] Oh, it's 4:45. Where's Match?
 * Bubble : Moybe she's late!
 * Pencil : Like, 'ow late? Ruby late or just 13 secon's after the bell late?
 * Bubble : Woill, Moitch is—
 * Pencil : Omg, we have to meet Book at the library!
 * Bubble : For whot?
 * Pencil : To talk 'bout … science.
 * Bubble : Okoy, can I come?
 * Pencil : Sure! [They run to the library] Oh, 'ey Pen! [They stop. Pencil kisses him.]
 * Bubble : Blekkh!
 * P en : [to himself] Oh, one this time. Anyways, I have some news.
 * Pencil : Oh no, wot's'e, bae?
 * P en : Match isn't coming to school today.
 * Pencil : Wot?
 * P en : Ha! You got me! I meant she was going to be late!
 * Pencil : Wow, Pen, that was not funny. Right, Bubble? [Bubble is nowhere to be seen]
 * Match : O … M … G … I'm, like, so sick.
 * Pencil : Why?
 * Match : So last night, I had, like, the worst nightmare! I was being filmed on this strange place, and Book and Ruby were no where to be seen! It lasted, like, four hours, and halfway through it, I was sent to the bosoms of the dark!
 * Bubble : Ha, you said boyzums! [Match sends her a look of disapproval]
 * Pencil : Wait, 'ow'd'ee know?
 * P en : Well, y'know, she has —
 * Match : [growing increasingly angry] Pen, don't you DARE!!! [She wrestles him, obviously winning.]
 * P en : No, no no no no no, I said I'm sorry! And aren't I supposed to be the stronger one …
 * Principal Golf Ball : Ecce! No wrestling outside! [Match stops] I expected worse from you, and more from you.
 * Match : See!
 * P en : Can we wrestle inside?
 * Match : Omg, no! You're my older brother! I'd, like, rather wrestle Eraser …
 * All students: [stopping in their tracks] Oooooooooooooooooooooooh!
 * Hall Monitor Tennis Ball : Get to class, everyone, you don't want to be late!
 * Unknown voice: In a second!
 * Mrs. Chembe : I'm back! [The students cheer.] I knew you missed me!
 * Students: Yeah!
 * Blocky : No.
 * Mrs. Chembe : Well to you! Five day detention. [throws metamorphic rocks at Blocky]
 * Blocky : But—
 * Mrs. Chembe : No. [the students laugh]
 * Match : This is the most fun I've ever had in this dump.
 * Mrs. Chembe : Were the subs nice?
 * Pencil : No! They all left before class started!
 * Ms. A : Attendance! Apple.
 * Apple : Cheer.
 * Ms. A : No, it's here, Apple. But thanks. Blocky?
 * Blocky : You are such a [censored for a long time]
 * Ms. A : [cries] If that's how you want it, I'll just leave! [runs away in tears]
 * [The next day] Mrs. Zheng : Apple!
 * Apple : Beer!
 * Mrs. Zheng : Blocky?
 * Blocky : Oh my lord, I hate you and your [censored for a long time]
 * Mrs. Zheng : [confused] What? [A Chinese student gets up and whispers to her ear hearing organs] Aah! 你是一個怪物！我希望你不要來學校！
 * Pencil : She doesn't wan'ee in the school, 'a-ha!
 * Blocky : Grr! [attacks her, but runs away quickly]
 * [The next day] Pencil : [to the new teacher, Ms. Compass] When'ee do hattendance, skip Blocky's name. 'E hain't in this class anymore.
 * Ms. Compass : Okay, attendance! Apple!
 * Apple : Military volunteer! [everyone laughs quietly]
 * Ms. Compass : Okay, that will do. Bubble!
 * Bubble : Hoy—
 * Blocky : What about me! You forgot me! [throws a ball of yarn at the sub's head]
 * Yarn Ball : Ow!
 * Blocky : I will get you, dumb girl! [she runs off, crying]
 * Pencil : In fact, it wasn't 'til our last sub came!
 * Mr. Submarine : [walking in] Attention, excuses for objects. Are you going to learn, or will you FIGHT!?
 * Match : I'd rather fight!
 * Mr. Submarine : Shut up! Now who is here? Apple.
 * Apple : Year.
 * Mr. Submarine : Apple, it's here. Here. Here! HERE!!!!
 * Apple : Yeah, I know.
 * Mr. Submarine : Blocky.
 * Blocky : I'm … here! Can't you recognize my existence! I am here, and you should not be here like the rest of you WEENIES!!!! You are SUCH A [censored for a long time]
 * Mr. Submarine : Oh my gosh, all the pressure! You're killing me Blockyyyyyyyyyyyyyy— [runs away in tears]
 * [Pencil raises her hand] Mrs. Chembe : Yes, dear?
 * Pencil : How's America?
 * Mrs. Chembe : It was so fun! So many different cultural traditions!
 * Blocky : [reclining on his chair] Yeah. That's my country. [falls down on his chair. Everyone laughs.]
 * Pencil : Did you ferget Swahili?
 * Mrs. Chembe : Si wakati wote! Anyhow, how were all y'all's vacations?
 * Monocler : Pray tell, what is this vacation?
 * Pencil : 'Ow was'ee holiday?
 * Monocler : In that case, 'twas beneficial.
 * Pencil : Like— [bell rings] No! Can we stay 'ere?
 * Mrs. Chembe : No, you have to go to your new period first class!
 * Bubble : Aw, I don't woinna go to Mr. Cove!

Tuesday, December 4
Scene: The bell will ring in a few seconds. Mrs. Chembe's students are exiting from her class. [Omnes exeunt.] [Another history lesson later.] [''Omnes exeunt. Out of Mr. Cove's lamp, enter'' BFDI Fairy.] [Enter students, led by Book. BFDI fairy hides in the lamp.] [''After class. Match is seen putting her things in her locker. Enter'' Pencil.] [They stop as they hear all the teachers near Mr. Cove's room yelling.] [They stare at each other in horror] [''They walk away calmly as more teachers are infected by the fairy. They all yell BFDI.'']
 * Match : Alright, TTYL!
 * Pencil : An' 'ave fun at the party!
 * Mrs. Chembe : I'll try!
 * Pencil : Bye, Match.
 * Match : See you, like, second period! [they go from each other]
 * Pencil : 'Right, Bubble, now, you's me best friend this period.
 * Bubble : Yoylecake!
 * Mr. Cove : [monotonously] Class you may go before the bell rings.
 * Mr. Cove : Who are you? You are not in my next class. Please stop bothering me. P;[The BFDI fairy flies around Mr. Cove]
 * BFDI Fairy : [mystically] Oooooooooooooh! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Wilahalah obama! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I-was-watching-you-sleep-last-night! Nghawawawawawawa! You will talk about BFDI, and only BFDI. The letters B, F, D and I! Gahahahahaha!
 * Bo ok : Hey, Mr. Cove!
 * Mr. Cove : [possessed by the fairy] BFDI! BFDI! Everything is BFDI! B is for Book! F is for Fail! D is …
 * Match : [to Book] Like, what's with him?
 * Mr. Cove : BFDI! BFDI! BFDI! BFDI! BFDI! BFDI!
 * Pencil : 'Ey.
 * Match : The weirdest thing just, like, happened! Mr. Cove was yelling BFDI!
 * Pencil : Weird. 'E probably jus' liked yer 'air.
 * Match : Well …
 * Teachers: BFDI! BFDI! BFDI! BFDI!
 * Match : That's strange! I've, like, never heard Mrs. Imamura yell before! And I've never, like, had her!
 * Match : Omg, do you want to go off campus for lunch?
 * Pencil : Hexactly wot I was thinkin'.
 * Match : Yeah, let's invite them all.

(Because those numbers can't lead to nowhere!)
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