A Battle Between Seemingly Uninteresting Objects! (ABBSUO)

Welcome to ABBSUO (jesus christ what an abbreviation)! In this show, extremely uninteresting objects will battle for a cheap printer. No, seriously-a cheap printer. Anyways, enjoy!

Contestants
Hanger-Host: Extremely cheap and greedy person. Net worth $10. Male.

Kale: Cannibal. Rip-off of old Fries except more healthy. Female.

Avast Antivirus: Text-to-speech voice. Sorta helpful. Clumsy. Obvious elimination fodder. Female.

Polo Ball: Obligatory sportsball character. Uninterested and unamused. Obligatory smart character. Armless. Male.

Wine Glass: Argentinian. Likes tango. Rip-off of Baguette except from another nationality. Male.

Floppy Disk: Obligatory randem lol xD character. Not much to say about this one. Armless. Female.

Poker Chip: Cheats. A lot. Greedy like Hanger but at a higher level. Male.

Fireball: Obligatory nice character. Firey-Leafy combination. Female.

Star: Always wants the spotlight. Famous star (see what I did there?) around the world. Female.

Dumbell: Strong but nice. Not too smart. Always tries his best. Male.

Chalkboard: Nail-scratcher. Lazy but smart. Armless. Male.

Stickman: Same structure as a human being. Ignorant. Male.

Shopping Cart: Likes going fast. Fails at everything but collecting stuff. Limbless. Male.

Cactus: Wants to hug everyone. Can't. Armless. Female.

Sock: Smells bad. Bland. Male.

Bidet: Bathroom appliance. Used by contestants to pee on it due to the lack of toilets. Armless. Female.

Doorbell: Ringety ding ding dong. Annoying. Female.

Glue Bar: Erratic. Scary. Male.

Xerox Photocopier: Can photocopy anything. Severely abused by the contestants due to this ability. Armless. Male.

Pacifier: Sensible. Acts like a baby, what did you expect? Female.

Sauce: DJ. Alters contestants' voices to say "sus". Makes YTPs. Female.

Episode 1: Obligatory introduction episode and first elimination fodder
Hanger: Welcome to A Battle Between Seemingly Uninteresting Objects! I'm your...ah screw it. That clichéd intro isn't going to work. I'm Hanger and I'm hosting an object show where the contestants participate for a cheap printer. We couldn't really afford something of higher value, so we just had to do with something we found at a nearby electronics store run by illegal mexican immigrants that smuggle drugs into electronics I think. Oh, look! Here come the rip-offs of other object show characters. Our first contestant is Kale.

Kale (munching kale):Hi!

Hanger: Jesus christ that's gruesome.

Kale (still munching kale): I really don't care. Anyways, what's all this about?

'''And that's enough for now! Will continue this later. What do you think of it?'''